The first few days, I knew he was in a lot of pain, he was SUPER dizzy, and he threw up lots and lots. We were going to doctor appointments a couple times a week trying to see what was wrong with him and what the doctors could do to help. Life changed instantly for us, but we thought it was temporary. Vertigo goes away...everybody knows that.
Toward the end of the month, Tony started talking about what we were going to do for our anniversary. He kept talking like it was a month away. I finally asked him when he though it was. He said, "August something, right?" I slowly realized we might have a problem. Trying to make it fun/funny, I started asking him simple questions. Some he got; some he didn't. I jokingly asked him to tell me the alphabet. He struggled. He missed the letter "J." He got messed up toward the end, but he managed to do it. We looked at each other and knew we were in for some fun. Our new daily tasks included working on his memory which we found out had lots of gaps in it. I also noticed that he had false memories. He was sure these things had happened, but I was there (and, of course, I'm right).
Over the course of the next four and a half years, Tony had back pain (both upper and lower), vertigo, headaches, ringing in the ears, balance problems, tremors, memory loss, problems sleeping, depth perception problems (sometimes that was fun), nausea, etc.
Over the course of the next four and a half years, we fought with the insurance company to approve tests and rehabilitation to help Tony. They would either say no, or say yes for a trial period and then say no. Tony actually began to get a little better at the 9 month mark. Then the insurance company denied the rehab that was helping, and he went down hill.
We ended up getting a lawyer involved, so that he could receive the tests and help he needed. We actually made it to court, and the judge yelled at the insurance company! He told them that they had agreed to the tests, so get moving and set them up! Tony was actually down to the last two tests before we went back to court. He "missed" his appointments by 5-6 days. He didn't need them anymore. He was healthy and happy in Heaven.
So this is the history of what brought me to the place I am now. Tony died confident that God was in control and had a reason for everything we were going through. Tony chose joy. I had a shirt that said "Choose Joy," and Tony always joked that he had chosen Joy. When it came down to it, he showed me how to choose joy on a daily basis. JOY
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