My brain won't shut up, so I am creating a list called "Things I won't have/get to do..." I am not overly sad about most of these right now. I just can't get them to stop running through my head. I have already grieved for some. I will probably have a hard time writing a few, but here it goes.
*I don't get to have our 25th anniversary. I'm pretty bummed about that. My mom saved our wedding napkins for it. They are cute and very 80s/90s.
*I don't get to watch my daughter walk down the aisle at her wedding on the arm of her father. Don't get me started on this one.....
*We were going on an Alaskan cruise this coming July.
*We were going to be that cute old couple holding hands.
*I have to watch Captain America without him.
*I have to give the kids' awards to them when everyone knows he's the funny one.
*Kidstuf isn't the same.
*I have to be the bad parent. I was used to being the good parent.
*I get to be a single parent. I knew it was hard, but WOW!
*I don't get to use his handicap placard anymore or park in the handicap parking places at the front. I am quite bummed by this. I was looking forward to going to Disneyland just so we could use it.
*No pranks!!! Wait, Julia likes to prank just like her dad. Drat!
*No retirement home together. We had it planned.
This list goes on and on. My brain is now quiet. I may be able to sleep now. How do I choose joy? Well, thanks for asking. I choose joy by laughing. The awesome Brignolio family taught me to laugh. Find something humorous even in the hard times. It help you survive and thrive. JOY